Selma Blair Talks "Bed Days," Medical Gaslighting, and Living With MS

Selma Blair has always been an iconic actress — from her breakout role as Cecile Caldwell in "Cruel Intentions" to the iconic Vivian Kensington in "Legally Blonde." But never did she anticipate having to use her skillset to cover up a chronic condition. Then, Blair was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2018 and surprisingly, a doctor encouraged her to keep it hidden. Blair recalls the doctor saying, "You don't want to tell people about this . . . you know people have judgments or you'll have trouble finding a job." At the time, Blair was filming "Another Life" for Netflix, working hard to ensure her condition stayed under wraps, hiding her fatigue and tics. "It was the wardrobe stylist who actually dressed me and actually implemented a cane into part of my wardrobe and did all these things so I could keep my secret," Blair tells Popsugar. Once she started showing more noticeable symptoms, Blair says her MS became too difficult to hide and she decided to go public. "I didn't have any idea how big the response would be and how many people that had chronic illness or MS were afraid to talk about it or share because they didn't feel empowered or sexy or pretty or young anymore," Blair says. "It really just kind of changed my whole personality of wanting to talk about it and find out more from other people, because frankly, doctors didn't have all the time." "I'll still have days where my balance is off, or my vision's just not gonna come together that well, and I have to kind of stay put in my house." Finding a supportive and affirming medical team has been the toughest, yet most impactful part of her journey. "I'm finally, after this many years, feeling at peace with my medical team around me, including Sollis, and my new MS doctor that I've had for a few years," Blair says. She's now partnering with Sollis Health, a concierge medical provider to raise awareness about alternative healthcare systems, medical gaslighting, and managing high-stress moments as someone with a chronic illness. "I'm a single mom and I have a chronic condition, and I kind of developed a little bit of small traumas over spending a long time with doctors or waiting [for results]," Blair says. But in opening up about her MS, Blair discovered that this was a shared experience. Blair says community "can really move the needle on you having some hope or not." Other times, you have to take the good days with the "bed days," as Blair calls them. Even relapse-free, she deals with symptom challenges: "I'll still have days where my balance is off, or my vision's just not gonna come together that well, and I have to kind of stay put in my house." "I still wish that I had the ability to spend a whole day out until bedtime and could feel amazing and get all these things done . . . I'm someone that does have to take breaks when I get overwhelmed, instead of throwing the towel," she says, especially when she's on a project. "I know I have to take 40 minutes and just shut down." Her honest advice to anyone navigating a major health diagnosis right now: don't go it alone. "I'm sorry, I do have to say, life is going to be hard. If you can, have an advocate to come with you to make going to the doctors easier until you find the one that really will listen to you." And even then, still consider bringing a loved one along because the odds are often stacked against women. In a November 2023 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers spotlight the "gender-pain exaggeration bias wherein perceivers believe women, relative to men, to be emotionally dramatizing and therefore more likely to exaggerate versus downplay their pain." In reality, this fear of being labeled hysterical can actually cause women to downplay their own pain. Blair says she's experienced both: the gender-pain bias and minimizing her own symptoms. "Even after [being] diagnosed and even after there was real flares and real evidence, there's still doctors that I felt dismissed [by] or my symptoms aren't important enough, or, 'Oh, that comes and goes so I shouldn't bother talking about it,'" Blair says But you should never feel like you're settling when it comes to your health, Blair says. There's more often than not always something more than can be done: whether that's testing and getting and MRI, trying a different treatment method, or addressing alternative financial options. Keep pushing, she says because, "things can be done." She adds, "Being able to communicate with your doctor is the only way you're going to find bigger help." 48794868 Alexis Jones is the section lead of the health and fitness verticals at Popsugar, overseeing coverage across the website, social media, and newsletters. In her seven-plus years of editorial experience, Alexis has developed passions for and expertise in mental health, women's health and fitness, racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare, and chronic conditions. Prior to joining PS, she was the senior editor at Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found at Women's Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.