🚨🐔 Backyard Crisis: Send Help (and maybe a chicken whisperer)

So… I appear to have been adopted by a gang of free-range chickens. They do NOT belong to me, they do NOT pay rent, and yet they have taken it upon themselves to absolutely redecorate my backyard like tiny feathery bulldozers.

Hillsborough county basically said, lol good luck, which feels rude considering I am now living in what can only be described as a chicken-themed apocalypse.

They’ve dug holes, held secret meetings, and I’m pretty sure one of them made direct eye contact with me like it pays the mortgage.

Chicken-savvy people of the internet… what do I do?! How do I evict these freeloaders?